Tuesday, July 14, 2009

If I am so anxious, why on earth did I just reserve "A Haunting in Conneticut" for tonight? Don't I realize this was based on a true story?!

Okay, so I don't blog about my worldly travels or the interesting people I meet in my time volunteering at a homeless shelter or the funny things that happened to me when I was a missionary in Indonesia. I just blog about my daily life, as mundane and boring as that may seem. I don't travel because I have a job and a mortgage and use my vacation to go home to Hawaii, I don't volunteer because I work at a non-profit, and I was never a missionary but I know the position. I have been off work for 4 days and again...stupid. Maybe I just need to retire, if only. I spent the weekend going to dog classes, playing Wii with Little Red, and going to the movies. You know what I discovered about me and the movies? I have anxiety.

I physically get anxiety about what is happening in the movie, what the hell? We went to see Transformers 2 and I loved it because I like stuff like that. But when this big ass decepticon came out and started killing people, my teeth started to chatter, my knees starting shaking and my heartbeat revved up. I had to mentally tell myself "THIS IS JUST A MOVIE, CALM DOWN K". Do you think I will be useless in an acutal emergency, God I hope not. I had the same thing happen during Angels and Demons, during the chase scenes. I knew what was going to happen, I read the book. I get all worked up like I'm in the damn movie! When did this happen? I don't get this much anxiety in real life and I think it's because I have no control over a movie. Having control is a big thing for me. I feel the need to control everything in my life, except my weight, obviously and we do not have time for this analogy. I am a huge list maker, ask H. I even make a list when I do a big house cleaning and I am anal! I actually write down very specific things like - scrub master tub, scrub guest bathroom tub, clean master sink, etc....why can't I just write down CLEAN BATHROOMS? Why do I even have to make a list? Because there is a small part of me that feels vindicated by crossing out what I just did. I am a sick woman.

Either I need to see a shrink or I need to stop going to the movies. I feel a little out of it today but when I came in this morning my desk was piled with crap I have to do with my three days here this week so I.DO.NOT.HAVE.TIME.TO.BLOG, yet I did. Did I tell you I'm also a rebel? Insert big sigh here and I'm off to actually do what they pay me to do here, work. But before I leave, you know what else I do? I analyze a movie to death. I wonder what the difference is between a prime and an autobot...if you haven't seen Transformers you will have no idea what I am talking about. I must know why and what for when it comes to a movie until my husband finally tells me "It was just a movie, it's not real". I am a barrel of laughs at a movie is what I am. Some days it is exhausting to be me.


1 comment:

chinamommy said...

hold the phone... HOME to HAWAII??? and you left??? why, why, why???????? and to live where? if you tell me Michigan i'm sticking my head in an oven (all-be-it a microwave OVEN- or is allbeit one word?... i digress)
i LOVE me some Hawaii.... i hit in the closet but the mister found me & threw me on the plane... i hated him (for a second).