If I am so anxious, why on earth did I just reserve "A Haunting in Conneticut" for tonight? Don't I realize this was based on a true story?!

Okay, so I don't blog about my worldly travels or the interesting people I meet in my time volunteering at a homeless shelter or the funny things that happened to me when I was a missionary in Indonesia. I just blog about my daily life, as mundane and boring as that may seem. I don't travel because I have a job and a mortgage and use my vacation to go home to Hawaii, I don't volunteer because I work at a non-profit, and I was never a missionary but I know the position. I have been off work for 4 days and again...stupid. Maybe I just need to retire, if only. I spent the weekend going to dog classes, playing Wii with Little Red, and going to the movies. You know what I discovered about me and the movies? I have anxiety.

I physically get anxiety about what is happening in the movie, what the hell? We went to see Transformers 2 and I loved it because I like stuff like that. But when this big ass decepticon came out and started killing people, my teeth started to chatter, my knees starting shaking and my heartbeat revved up. I had to mentally tell myself "THIS IS JUST A MOVIE, CALM DOWN K". Do you think I will be useless in an acutal emergency, God I hope not. I had the same thing happen during Angels and Demons, during the chase scenes. I knew what was going to happen, I read the book. I get all worked up like I'm in the damn movie! When did this happen? I don't get this much anxiety in real life and I think it's because I have no control over a movie. Having control is a big thing for me. I feel the need to control everything in my life, except my weight, obviously and we do not have time for this analogy. I am a huge list maker, ask H. I even make a list when I do a big house cleaning and I am anal! I actually write down very specific things like - scrub master tub, scrub guest bathroom tub, clean master sink, etc....why can't I just write down CLEAN BATHROOMS? Why do I even have to make a list? Because there is a small part of me that feels vindicated by crossing out what I just did. I am a sick woman.

Either I need to see a shrink or I need to stop going to the movies. I feel a little out of it today but when I came in this morning my desk was piled with crap I have to do with my three days here this week so I.DO.NOT.HAVE.TIME.TO.BLOG, yet I did. Did I tell you I'm also a rebel? Insert big sigh here and I'm off to actually do what they pay me to do here, work. But before I leave, you know what else I do? I analyze a movie to death. I wonder what the difference is between a prime and an autobot...if you haven't seen Transformers you will have no idea what I am talking about. I must know why and what for when it comes to a movie until my husband finally tells me "It was just a movie, it's not real". I am a barrel of laughs at a movie is what I am. Some days it is exhausting to be me.

K