Friday, November 27, 2009

Happy Fatsgiving!

I am too full of turkey and tamales to be creative and witty. I have finished my report on the Federal Reserve System and now have a test to study for on Monday. While studying is important, never underestimate the need for taking breaks. My break just happened to take me shopping where the only person I bought gifts for was myself. Thanks for the new clothes and shoes babe! Following my shopping was lunch with my husband, who was the only person in Texas to have to work today. It's almost two and I'm thinking this is a great time for a nap with my angel of a dog, Max. Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and I'm sorry I have nothing interesting or exciting to share with you. So enjoy the picture of my brother and sister in law playing Wii. Some of us were fairly imbibed and we all had a good time pretending we were athletes in the winter Olympics.

If they had tandem ski jumping in the Olympics, I'm fairly certain Rob and Missy wold qualify.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

You ever fuck up?

Monkey Boy (H's partner) called me at work last week to tell me he was buying H a new car for his birthday. Big news, don't tell anyone! So I of course text the following message to my husband: OMG, MB is buying H a new car for his birthday!!! What the hell!!!

Only I accidently sent the message to H.

Monumental fuck up, no? Thank God it is all over and the deed has been done. I can't take this kind of pressure.


Monday, November 23, 2009

What holiday?

This just invited themselves to our "quiet" Thanksgiving. Staying with us for 4 days! All I wanted to do this year was stuff myself with tamales and sit around in my underwear between naps. The best laid plans....


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Principle#1 - K rocked out her first test, it's all downhill from here.

Okay, so who got an A on her Macroeconomics exam last night? WHO? I'm just going to leave you hanging 'cause that's how I roll. You know I just had to update my Facebook status to celebrate my first A and good 'old June Gardens had to comment "What are the principles of macroeconomics anyway?". I so envy her for freelancing now and getting to sleep in. Who doesn't want to sleep in when it is cold outside?

It was so cold this morning that when I woke up, Max was curled up in my legs. I had the hardest time getting untangled without waking him or Big Red up. Where did this ice age come from? I guess hell froze over because I made an A on my test.

You know the bad thing about doing so well on the first test, there is nowhere to go from here but down. Crap, what have I done?


Monday, November 16, 2009

I guess I have to accept the fact that my husband is now a runner.

It was a busy weekend filled with birthday parties, half marathons and two naps! Big Red ran his first half marathon and he did great, I could not be more proud of him. It was packed along the race course but it was still so much fun. Never mind we got downtown when it was still dark or walked our feet off. A good time was had by all and I would never miss an opportunity to cheer my hubby on. I'm glad he saw us at both mile markers and thank goodness for H's loud booming voice. Thousands of people but you can't miss hearing that voice!

H and Monkey Boy goofing around at the Alamo. I think H just wanted to punch someone. Oh the abuse.

Monkey Boy and I passing time while we were waiting for the runners to pass. It was 7 a.m., how much more energy do you want?!
Big Red and Little M with their finishing medals. I realize they really don't look anything alike but they are brother and sister. Really. I think. No, they are. They have the same mother. I may be biased, but my husband is a hottie, a running hottie.

The whole family at the finish line. I could not be any happier for my baby and his sister. They both did awesome! Rob followed the whole race on his bike, making sure his wife knew he was there for her. How lucky am I to belong to such a great family?

We were able to cheer Big Red on at mile 2 and mile 8 and then see him cross the finish line. We ended up taking a looong nap when we got home. It was a jam packed weekend but a very satisfying one. My husband is already gearing up for a duathlon and talking about doing a full marathon next year. H said it best when he said "Face it, your husband is now a runner". Today I get the results for my first macroeconomics test and I hope I did well. If I don't get a good grade for this first class I will lose all my confidence in my decision to return to school. Not good. Not an option. Not possible.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Who? What? Where? When?

Please allow me to clarify...

H is a boy...likes lesbians, trannies, and shoes.

K is a boys, food, and shoes.

This is my favorite picture of us...K making H cry. One of my many hobbies.

I know it's confusing having two of us write this blog, but H doesn't write that often. He likes to guest post when he has somthing to say. Hence the name, Kugo ---- combination of our two names. Glad we got that cleared up.

K -----> the girl

Monday, November 9, 2009

My biggest regret...

There are two things that I have wanted most in the world. Anyone who knows me knows what they are. I talk about these two things often and they have eluded me for many years. Granted, I really haven't done anything to reach my goals but still people, I want them!

No, it's not world peace or world peas. It is not a cure for horrible diseases. It's not for gay R to find true love or for fast Eddie to finally come out. Maybe if fast Eddie came out, gay R would find true love. Anyway, I want to be friends with a tranny and a lesbian. Not in one person but two different people.

I used to live with a great lipstick lesbian (friend from high school) but I hated her gross, manly girlfriend. We drifted apart after she moved out and I haven't seen her in years. I have never lived with a tranny but that would have been soooo much fun.

This weekend we went shopping at Nordstrom Rack and met the two coolest lesbians. Monkey R was shopping for black boots and so was one of the lesbians. She was an attractive, Rachel Maddow type. She had a great smile and cool short gray hair. We kept swapping boots with them and helping them with boot choices. We laughed about ugly boots and talked about what jeans to wear with what boots.

We saw them several times throughout the store and talked to them each time. On the way out we finished paying right before they did. As we passed them they said good bye and asked us where we were going next. I responed with, "we are headed home, we have been out all day". We laughed and said good bye again and we walked out. What the hell?! What kind of a response was that?! I think they may have been asking us out for a drink or for more shopping advice. I panicked, I'm rusty with picking up people at stores. It has been years since I have picked up strangers.

Once I got back to the car I felt like I had missed a big opportunity. We circled around several times but didn't find them. I have wanted a cool lesbian and I totally missed my chance. I cannot stop thinking about them and the possibilities. Ohh lesbian, where are you?! Maybe I need to place a "chance meeting" ad in The Current. Yeah, that's what I'll do!


Where does the time go? No seriously, where does it go?

Let me start of by telling you what we had planned this weekend. We actually did go out on Saturday to a workshop at the Apple store. We learned all these cool little features about our mac that I may or may not find useful. The guy at the genius bar finally fixed my e- mail problem and also helped us solve our wireless printer issue, he really was a genius. Then we headed off to shop for Big Red. He has a business trip in Vegas (business in Vegas is really pushing it, don't you think?) and he has dropped some major poundage since he started running. We had to get him a business casual wardrobe and it was actually quite fun. He looked majorly hot! Sucks that he is wearing all these clothes for the first time without me because I have to stay behind for school :-(. Shoes were a little harder, he has huge banana boat feet and he can be hard to fit. After a little texting with H (the gays always know good shoes), we were steered in the right direction and found him 3 pairs of shoes! I only bought one pair for myself and I wore them for the first time yesterday and stepped in poop. Great.

We had all these fun plans on Sunday to go to New Braunfels for Wurstfest - sausage on a stick, funnel cake, caramel apples, roasted corn - we got dressed, printed out maps and even checked the weather channel. Thunderstorms in the afternoon, we can beat the rain, it's only 10 a.m. Opened the front door and like a cartoon the rain fell out of the sky like a hurricane a coming. Lightning and thunder for added effect...nice. All dressed up and no place to go. Wouldn't you know it was the last day for Wurstfest and we missed it. As soon as the rain eased up a bit we went grocery shopping and rented movies so we could snuggle under a blanket while it stormed outside. It turned out to be quite the relaxing day but a little bummed we couldn't go hang with the Germans and their beer and sausage.

I decided to do a before and after in pictures. H is thinner and Little Gay R looks unhappier. Breakups suck.

It's a wonder I get any work done, having to be the company photographer all day.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Oh no, the horror...

It has been nearly two weeks since I went through the change. I finally did it! I still cannot believe that I had the courage to do. I never thought I would do it. I can finally say that I am much happier living my life this way now. I really don't care what my family, friends or co-workers think about it.

Most have been supportive and have offered words of encouragement. Some people broke down in tears when they first saw me. They stared at me with their mouths hanging wide open. One person covered her mouth and shook her head while she mumbled, "no, no, no, I can't believe it." One person stared at me and began to cry, she gingerly hugged me and then walked away.

I was even pulled into an office to be lectured to not go out and cheat on Monkey R. Apparently this change, in their eyes, will lead me to become a slut and sleep around. What the fuck is wrong with these people?!

Who would have thought that finally deciding that I had lost enough weight to tuck my shirt in would cause such reactions. Get a grip people, it's not like I had a sex change!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Do not expect me to keep your murderous secrets, I just can't do it.

One guess on who is in love with not just her new Mac but herself? It's like I'm having an affair and can't wait to come home to my precious. Husband? What husband? I am now married to my Mac. Mac and K, it's better than mac and cheese. Perhaps I should have picked a better background than our home office with the big old treadmill in the back but this is where I be. Enough about my mac, let's talk about me and my lunch hour (loosely called an hour).

Our topic for today was which would be the worst way to die and if you knew someone you loved killed someone, would you tell. I can't really begin to tell you how disturbing the conversation got but let's just say I work with some pretty sick people. I only color within the lines people, which means I go by the book so I would turn your ass in if I knew. I'd give you 24 hours to turn yourself in or leave the country, but I would go to the police if I knew. Sorry, we must maintain order or end in chaos, that's just the way I feel. I can't possibly sleep at night knowing that I did nothing! What do you expect from anal Annie??!!

Let me just say that I would not mess with the women I work with, they will cut you and not bat an eyelash. I learned that one would not just kill you if you messed with her kids but she would also torture you slowly and painfully. Another will wrap your dead body in ham and throw you in an alligator pit to quickly dispose of all traces of you. Is it any wonder her favorite show is Dexter? We have the most bizarre conversations at lunch and I think tomorrow I will only talk about happy things like rainbows and new shoes. I will also watch my back from here on out.


Oh what a tangled web we weave

Have you ever found out something about someone that makes you look at them in a different light? One of my co-workers has been going on and on about some nonsensical lie and pointing out to everyone who will listen what she did. I recently found evidence that she had a little medical help with her problem. Interesting how she didn't tell anyone that part of the story. She has point blank lied to everyone in the face and now I find her just a little sad. H and I think she has issues with self-esteem and craves attention because of it. Whatever gets you though the day. We haven't shared this information with anyone because it really is none of our business but I do wish she would stop talking about it now.


Monday, November 2, 2009

Big Red, Max and my pink MAC...the things I love.

Who do you think finally got their laptop and couldn't wait to play with the photo booth feature all night?? I freaking love this thing and my husband and I were complete idiots with it. We went to the Apple store on Saturday and ending up leaving with a laptop, wireless printer (free), a magic mouse, and no regrets. We immediately walked over to Orange Cup and opened her up and started playing. It's official, I am a MAC convert.

We had a perfectly lovely weekend with brilliant weather. Why can't we have cold crisp days with blue skies every day? I wish I could take this weekend, rewind it and play it over and over again. Okay, maybe without the kids ringing my doorbell asking for candy.