Friday, May 30, 2008

Sex and the City


OMG, I loved it!! It made me laugh and it made me cry, I didn't want it to end. There were so many good scenes and I love Samantha! Sigh...I must go see it again and then I must own it and watch it over and over. I love leaving a movie satisfied. H and I weren't the only fag and hag in tow, I think the only straight man there was my husband. Of course we took our spouses too, we're not entirely selfish. Some may overdose on the romanticism but all the emotion is what made it such a great movie for me. SEX and the City rocks!!


K

Monday, May 26, 2008

How was your weekend?


Conversation secretly recorded on Memorial Day:

Stranger: Good Afternoon, ma'am, did you have a good weekend?

K: Fuck Yeah!

Stranger: What did you do?

K: Have lot's of awesome sex, ate good food, and had mind-blowing orgasms.

Stranger: Okay, that's great I guess. Anything to add?

K: This was the best fucking weekend I've fucking had in a long mother fucking time and bless this country and everyone who fought for it.

Stranger: Wonderful, have a great day.

K: Bet your ass I will.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

This was me this morning...


I thought it was my pants after I put them on then discovered it was my underwear. Why can't they just invent panties that say front and back?


First my bra then my panties, what's next my wig?

K

Sunday, May 18, 2008




Do you see anything in common with all these pictures?

No wonder I'm so fat.

K

When good dogs go bad





uuuhhh...what is this place...what is this button for. what the hell is going on here. has anyone seen my mom? max what do I do now..help me! hurry before they come home and find me on the computer again!

fuck i don't know what to do you're the purebred here...i'm just a mutt. mama's gonna be mad if she finds you reading her blog. you're getting your hair all over the keyboard nani..i hope she beats you.

SHIT HERE THEY COME!!! THE JIG IS UP SAVE YOURSELF!!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Reasons I should have a second job on the weekends

Some thoughts I had upon waking this morning:

Why can't they invent a bra that hides your back fat?

Why does my mom say threadmill when it's called a treadmill? It's not like I haven't told her this.

Puerto Rican Princess keeps saying "Thanks God" instead of "Thank God" and it's really not an accent thing maybe it's just a stupid thing?

Why does it bother our dog Max so much when we watch porn? Come to think of it he really doesn't like it when we have sex either. Maybe he is religious and feels it offends his morals. Max is Jesus Dog?

Before I got out of bed this morning, I pondered for at least 10 minutes on if I should eat breakfast first or poop...apparently poop waits on no man. Just ask H, he had this revelation at McDonald's yesterday.

I wish I could draw cartoons like H but I'm not very creative or motivated. Sorry, I meant creatibe or motibated.

K

Friday, May 16, 2008

THIS is really not rude!

I Just Wanna Get Down...


Not sure where and when this was said. Either way it is pretty funny...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Pain in the neck



This pretty much sums up my day.

K

So I'm trying to eat healthier and take better care of myself since my uterus was viciously ripped from my nether regions and complications arose. You would think this would be easy to do, right? Not so much. It's easier when I am home or around my family since they all know the history but at work it is a little more challenging. Not a big deal, I can handle this but I really don't need everyone here knowing about it. I don't want to make an announcement or a big production so I kind of keep it to my inner circle. Which would be great if my boss didn't like to scream things out like "YOU CAN'T EAT PIZZA!!???!"...during a staff meeting...in front of THE WHOLE STAFF.

This made it humiliating moment #2 today. Humiliating moment #1 was when I wore my bra inside out this morning and didn't realize it until I got to work. Feel stupid much? If ever there was a day to stay home in bed, this was pretty much it.

Oh look - a picture of me in my inside out bra eating the infamous pizza!

Note to self: Stay fat.

Geesh.

K

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

How come I can't be in on it?


Would you trust this person?

Here's what went down:

Little Gay R asked us why he can't be in on our blog. I explained that we had tried it once and I wasn't really satisfied with the whole experience. It's like having a threesome and leaving asking yourself why you did that because you didn't have a real orgasm. Well that's LGR in a nutshell, he's a fake orgasm.

I find him pretty draining most times so why would I want him in on our blog? He's a fun sucker, he sucks all the fun out of things when you have to explain everything to him. Besides, how could we write shit like this and expect him to understand? For me, most people fall in to two categories - those who drain me and those who fuel me. LGR is a drainer and I just don't have that much energy to go around.

We're in a recession, Puta! (heard secondhand through H)

K

Monday, May 12, 2008

Why's it so HARD?



This was the scene right before ROMAN fell to the floor.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

PORN!



Apparently, everything posted this weekend is about sex. What a bunch of horn dogs!
Question?
Is K taking it in the butt?

ORGY!


Alright, this is the draft of our new cartoon posting. We will begin to post funny things said by KUGO, heard around the office, or things heard in life. Not sure I like the look of the drawing but it just the beginning people! Watch out!

I'll have what she's having


Oh my, what a fabulous weekend (said in my gayest voice). I am so tired but it was worth it. Big Red and I had Sex fest Lalapalooza 2008 and it was awesome! I think it's quite funny and ironic that we are having the best sex without having the "main event" of sex. What does this mean? It means we have really been enjoying the journey and realize it is not so much about arriving at our destination. Why has it taken us 11 years to realize this, is this the one benefit of going through menopause? Lord, let it be so...

Not only did we have a busy weekend but I also got 3 new pairs of cute shoes! Can there be a better recipe for a good weekend than sex and shoes? If there is I don't know what it could possibly be. We will end the weekend by cooking out at my parent's for Mother's Day, ending with good food...oh my Bob, this weekend just got better!

So to all you 20 somethings still whoring around thinking you are having great sex with nameless strangers, eat your heart out! I'm in my 40's and it only gets better!!

K

Friday, May 9, 2008

POSTING

Ok, I am trying to load these fucking pictures but I am having trouble. I love my MAC but i hate it because I don't fully know how to use it yet. There are shortcuts everywhere! Ugh! Where is R?

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Wee wee


Shhhh, don't tell anybody but I think my dog (Max) is all Pepe Le Pew with a neighborhood skunk. Two nights this week he has come in from the backyard with the stinky perfume over him and he doesn't seem the least bit upset about it. In fact, he seems proud and excited about it. Every morning when I let him out to pee he runs to the fence than has the nerve to look disappointed when nothing is there.

Sigh...I hate to be the bearer of bad news but doesn't he know interracial relationships never work? Maybe he can get over the smell but we can't and have put a stop to his lusty night time moves for the time being. The slutty skunk needs to go look for her man meat somewhere else. My baby will not be singled out and made fun of because of his preference for the mixed races! It pains me to think he is all laying down his best lines in a french accent and all he gets is sprayed.

K

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

GOING TO HELL, PEOPLE, GOING TO HELL...

ALRIGHT! I AM BLOGGING! GEEESH...
So this weekend the sibling went to a Catholic retreat. It was two and half days of sharing, praying, meditating, learning, teaching with other women. I know several people that have gone and just come back as different, enlightened people. I really think my sibling is one of those. Yea, her! They also have one of these retreats for men. They are held only once a year and there are waiting lists to go. Ok, so here is where the problem begins. I would LOVE to go to something like that BUT I can't. I would not be allowed because I am of the homosexual persuasion.

We went to a candle light service on Saturday where all the ladies came in and we surprised them by being there. It was beautiful and very moving, we all cried. Then at mass on Sunday it was the same. Very spiritual, uplifting, and moving. We spent all weekend with my parents and we talked a lot about a lot of things. The topic of the Catholic church evolving came up because my parents go to a church where they a very old school priest that has changed a lot of things. He says he has changed things back to the way they used to be. He has made sure that all the sinners (people living together or divorced cannot receive communion). Whatever... So we kept talking and I eventually said well if he is that old school he would probably damn me straight to hell once he met R. It took my parents a bit to understand what I was saying but they finally did.

I went on to say that this is the reason I have not gone to church in a long time. I don't feel welcomed at any church. Many Catholic churches in SA have smaller community groups that get together for prayer, food, and just fun. I would not be a able to be a part of that because I would not be accepted by most. I also would not want to put myself in the position to be rejected by some of the people because I love a man.

So my mom told me that I should not stop going because of that. She told me it could be individual thing for me. I told her that I did not want to be treated like a second class citizen and sit in the back of the church and not speak to anyone. I just do not want to do that. THEN my mother said the thing that I had NEVER thought about. She said, oh I guess you couldn't receive communion either; you shouldn't receive communion. So my mother thinks I am sinner is what I took from that. I also took that she too believes I am going to HELL. If I cannot receive the body and blood of Christ then I am going to hell. I HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY! When I was going to church I always received communion.