Monday, August 24, 2009

There is no title that would even encompass all I have to say.

It is 6:30 a.m. and I am having the WORST day already. I don't even know why I am here at work. I went in my closet to pull out clothes for work and I had to try on 4 different shirts before I found one that finally fit right. What in the hell? By the time I put the 4th shirt on, I was in tears. Big old crocodile tears that fell on my "fat" shirt.

I spent a year of my life getting healthy and I have thrown all that away in a few short months and I am angry. Angry at myself for letting that happen. Other words that come to mind are discouraged, frustrated, annoyed, and damn mad, all at myself. I cried all the way to work and as I sit here at my desk, I have to wonder what I am even doing here today. I am in no frame of mind to get any work done. I have a black cloud over me and the last thing I want to do is interact with people and pass this shit on.

I have been so focused on making other changes in my life that I completely let this one go. I need to refocus and get my shit together. I need to get my mojo back and make working out a commitment not just a long term goal. I know Monday's are supposed to suck but not like this. I am shutting down my computer and going home where I intend to work out not just my body but my overwrought emotions. I am one sorry sight and no one needs to deal with that today.

K

3 comments:

Funny in my mind said...

I have these days a lot and they do suck. Sometimes I try on everything and still feel awful. I always say I will change but it is hard to actually do it. Make small changes first (with me it was getting rid of ALL soda including diet) Then i started walking. I still need to think about what I do and what I eat and I have to force myself to walk. You can do it! Just start small! I hope your day improves!

@eloh said...

I know the feeling. Keep your chin up, tomorrow is another day.

La Skeletor said...

If you did it once, you can do it again. We should start a fags and hags hiking group.