Friday, May 15, 2009

Wasn't San Francisco the city of free love?

My most memorable experience in a city full of famous landmarks? Shopping in the mission district which leads me to my story. Let me just preface this with I am not a fan of the word communal. The word sounds weirdly religious yet bad. “Awww man, I have to go get my communal now”. Especially don’t like it when it’s used with the words bathroom, living or dressing room. Maybe it’s just sharing in general that I don’t like. I wasn’t an only child so not sure why this bothers me so much. I certainly enjoy sharing my laughs, advice and opinions but not much else. Don't you love how I get straight to the point of my story? Did you have somewhere else to be?

Men’s bathrooms by design are communal and though I don’t use them this still freaks me out a little bit. How does one do their business when just anyone can see? I realize they don’t have to do the full monty when they pee, but still. With women this would be such a big deal. Once I had to use a communal dressing room when I was shopping in San Francisco and it still haunts me to this day. Now I fully realize this is the city of free love, but sister this was just taking it too far. Not only do I not want to strip down in front of strangers but I, in turn, do NOT want them bare ass in front of me.

I don’t want to know that the lady next to me trying on pants does not even bother to wear panties. GROSS! Why on earth would I want to buy pants from someplace where ‘ole crabby crotch was laying eggs in them? I don’t care how cheap or fantastic the deals were, I just couldn’t bring myself to ‘cut loose’. I almost broke down in tears of hysteria when I was shown the dressing room. It took every ounce of self control not to fling my clothes at everyone in there and scream at the top of my lungs for "EVERYONE TO COVER UP YOUR LADY LUMPS FOR GOD SAKES!! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!” Perhaps this is also why I have never done an orgy…hygiene people. Never mind the rejection factor; I just don’t know where your parts have been so I don’t want them anywhere near me.

This was my only negative reaction to San Francisco. I completely love this city for everything it offers. The weather, the houses, Fisherman’s Wharf, Alcatraz, the Mission District, Castro Street, riding the BART, Lombard Street, Ghirardelli chocolate…what’s not to love? I have been there many times and never get tired of it. Michelle just came back from visiting S.F. and she wants to move there. I hope she does so I will now have someone to visit and stay with…for free. Did I mention it’s very expensive? As much as I love this city, I just could not live an arms length away from my neighbor, but I may have left my heart there once.


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