- If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
- I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
- If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
- To me, it's a good idea to carry around two sacks of something when you're just walking around. That way, if anyone says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?", you can say "Sorry, got these two sacks."
- It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3rd or December 26th, just for the long weekends.
- Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for the part about letting just any asshole vote.
- I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
- Once, I wept for a man with no shoes. Then I came upon a man with no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
Made me chuckle...K
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