Monday, June 9, 2008

Every day is a winding road

I've learned that eating healthy is not always easy but necessary. It's been two months and some days are more of a struggle than others but this too shall pass - my mantra. It would be easier to just give in and end up back in the same, comfortable place because that's where I was. Comfortable with being tired all the time, comfortable with not caring about myself, comfortable with denial at having a serious health issue...

Day by day sometimes isn't enough and sometimes it is moment by moment I have to live. But here in this moment I am and I take a moment to pause and remember what brought me to this decision in the first place. My life is made up of choices and in almost every moment there is a choice to do the right thing not necessarily the easy thing. I choose to remain focused and most of the time that brings me peace. I can't think of this as a race with a finish line but a journey that I should enjoy not only when I get there, but along the way.

Some days I don't have to think at all, it's just automatic. I love days like that. As great as that may sound, I don't always want days like that. Sometimes being in a struggle reminds me that I am alive and makes me feel as if I have won some personal inner battle when I have chosen the right path. Seems silly but this is what drives me every day and I like having that all to myself. I don't want to do this for anyone but me.


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