Are you kidding me?

Okay...so...I'm at the gas station this morning picking up my daily dose of Sugar Free French Vanilla Cap and this woman walks in and I think to myself (as opposed to thinking to anyone else), WTF. She is in pink pajamas with black, fuzzy booties and a black bathrobe. Her hair is all kinds of fucked up and she's rushing in buying gas. Who needs gas this bad and where is she going?! I seriously want to ask her this but think better of it. Perhaps at her job if they don't get there on time they are beheaded. So maybe I should admire her perseverance?

Later today...someone comes in to my office and starts to tell me about her personal life (why me?). She has been with her man for 2 years and they have NEVER brought up the issue of living together or marriage. Funny, no? I find this out because she lives in her place but he bought a house. He made a joke about renting her a room and like a dog with a bone, she immediately said (to herself and later to me) "Is he trying to tell me something?". I think she really wants to get married but is afraid to bring it up. Which brings up the question, how long are you willing to wait for your partner to pony up and make the offer? What's the expiration date on the dating portion of the relationship? If you love each other and are committed why hasn't this subject EVER been brought up by at least one of you? Hmmmm.

She then proceeds to tell me her last boyfriend, after being confronted with cheating, tells her he is a secret agent. So you see it's not another girl that is responsible for the demise of their relationship, it's the government. When asked why he was taking a shower as soon as he got home, he replied "I had blood on my hands". When asked why do you keep looking around, he replied "Someone may be following me". When asked what are you looking for before he let her get in the car, he replied "A bomb". PSYCHO. Maybe she told her current boyfriend this and hence, no marriage talk?

Why do I always get in to these conversations at work on a Friday? Aside from wondering about her state of mind (being in these kind of relationships) I have to say - I may use these on my husband this weekend just for fun. After all, one must work to keep their relationship fresh...

K

Friday

Today will be a good day...this is my mantra. As soon as I got to work, I spent 10 minutes deep in meditation. I feel relaxed and calm and am ready to tackle this mess on my desk. I have SO much to do and every day I feel as if I just can't catch up. The end of my day yesterday was so rushed that I just felt like I needed to unwind.

So Big Red and I went to a bar to drink..no food, just alcohol and it felt great. My husband is one of a kind, it's the little things he does that make me realize how lucky I am to have him. If I could go back in time there are many things I would change but even after all those changes I would still want to marry him. Somebody up there must like me because I won the lottery of husbands.

K

Nani Maka Lives

MY NANI DOES NOT HAVE ADDISON'S DISEASE!!!! YEAH!!! I LOVE MY NANI!!!! BIG RED AND I DID A LITTLE JIG IN THE KITCHEN LAST NIGHT AFTER THE VET CALLED AND NANI DECIDED TO JOIN US!!!

K

yawn

I was able to sleep in 'till at least 5 a.m. today and it is now 7:15 a.m. I am here at work, working my ass off (ie:writing in my blog) and I am ready to pack it in and call it a day. TGIF because I am one pooped pup. I had more weird ass dreams - this time about masturbation, don't ask me why. I was holding a lecture on it and had visual aides. Maybe I was dreaming of my future job?

Yesterday Roman was trying to hold an intellectual conversation (trying is the key word here) about his new religion. He might as well be a Scientologist - he sounds just a tad Tom Cruiseish. He said he's been studying this for a year. Now to me this statement implies buying materials or going to the library every week and having notebooks full of relevant, important information on every aspect of Judaism. To my knowledge, this is not the case. This is just another example of Roman trying to appear smarter than he actually is. Roman wants so badly to be seen as an intellectual that he poses as one in his spare time. It's like having a conversation with a 5 year old. I ended up just sending him to his room.

There is absolutely no point to this entry, I am just doing some random blogging. Isn't that obvious? Leave me alone! I'm tired...

K

HI K...IM TIRED...

Roman Montana

I just realized Little Gay R kinda looks like a male version of Hannah Montana. Not quite as cute but if Hannah were in male drag she would be LGR. That would explain why R is so immature and girly. It wouldn't explain all his other problems but it would explain so much.

K

Rihanna = Diarrhea

Okay look...you people need to stop. I really don't think I can take one more day of Rihanna. Not only does her music suck but her speaking voice gets on my nerves as well. From her light bulb shaped noggin(look at it!! it's freakishly shaped - she's a real live bobblehead) to her redundantly irritating songs...I really have had enough of her. I don't have the bright fire like hate that I have for sharks and roaches, she's just a minor annoyance like a mosquito buzzing close to my ear at night. That umbrella song?? I could just pummel someone with lava rocks for singing that because it is the most nauseating, disease ridden, vomit inducing, excruciatingly bad lyrical mess that I have ever heard. It actually forces me to turn the radio off. I don't hate her...just her music. She should do something else, like be a mime. That's a lost art, isn't it? You just don't see mime's anymore.

K

Be my Valentine

My brother M is a chef and has just recently opened his own restaurant. This was a lifetime dream of his and I don't say that lightly. Ever since he could stand, he has been cooking. I love when at the age of 7 he made us the best fried rice ever. In second grade, they had career day at his school. I know, who the hell knows what they want to be in the second grade besides a cowboy, fireman, astronaut or a singer? M did, he filled out a card that said he wanted to be a chef. I have had that card for ages because I planned to make him a scrapbook with all his childhood pictures in it. My parents recently asked to see that card so they could reminisce.

I have torn about my house looking for it and I CANNOT find it! But while I was seaching, I did find a valentines day gift my husband bought for me. I feel terrible about it and I didn't open it but the gloom is still there. I need to practice my look of surpise and joy when I open it so Big Red will never know that I knew. After all that, I still couldn't find the card and I am too afraid to tell my parents I lost it. My mom will monkey out on me, I just know it. We have one more option and that is the attic when we recently packed away some storage containers. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

K

Love it!

YIPPEE

My partner, R got a new job last week (Friday).  An Advertising and PR company came looking for him a couple of weeks ago (he wasnt looking for a job).  He interviewed and they offered him the job.  They gave him 13K more than he is making now, a bonus of at least 3K every December, 4.5% of his salary automatically goes into his 401K each year,  they will match an additional 3% of what he puts into the plan.  He also gets 5 weeks of vacation and summer hours (shortened weeks during summer months).  They will also give him an increase at his 90 days if he is doing well in his job!  I was shocked at what they offered.  I am so proud of him and all that he has accomplished!!!    

i am fat AND out of shape...

Who the fuck knew that I was so fat and out of shape?!  I guess I sort of knew but have been in denial about it.  I was talking to a friend of mine last week and we discussed how each of us have gained some weight lately.  We both said we were stress eating.  What the fuck!  Why do I have to be a stress eater?  Why do I have to have stress in my life?  Anyway, so we both said, OK we are fat.  I accepted it late last week.  Thursday to be exact.  That was January 31st.  So this weekend we pulled out the carpet in our bedroom and closet.  We also pulled out the linoleum in the bathroom.  We then scrubbed all of the floor with baking soda, metal scrubby things, blades and sponges.  It took us a day and a half to finish.  I was soooo fucking sore.  I felt like I lifted weights for days.  Every tiny muscle in my body ached!  I could barely move.  When did I get so out of shape!  R was so funny.  He kept telling me not to feel so bad about my flabby state.  He kept telling me he was sore too. He is a fucking marathon runner!  It was nice of him to say.  Right now I am still a bit sore from my arms.  

We are going to start staining it today.  I am very excited that we have rid ourselves of that nasty carpet.  I hate/love that it made me realize that I am fat AND 

out of shape!  

SURPRISE!

This weekend I surprised my husband by taking a picture of him while he was naked and sitting on the toilet. Actually, I took several 'cause I kept popping in and out of the bathroom and I knew he couldn't reach the door to close it. The last picture was of him getting up to close the door so I call it an "action shot". We laughed so hard at the pictures that we both almost threw up. He got me back last night by poking the camera over the shower curtain but I just smiled up at it. Obviously these pictures will never see the light of day as we want to spare this world any more pain. Unless our dogs are home right now posting them on the internet. Say cheese! Amateurs...

K

CCR

My friend at work thought Creedence Clearwater Revival were an all black singing group...hehehehe.

He was very confused when I showed him this picture. What more can I possibly say? What an idiot.

K