I've known for a week and I haven't told anyone except my husband. There are some things I'm not ready to share with the outside world. Sometimes there are just no words. I go back and forth between sadness and hope but I'm never quite okay with either one of those things. Comfortably numb would be acceptable, maybe even prudent.

For the most part I just feel blue and helpless. I don't like wallowing in it but every time I feel happy it seeps back in to remind me, like a stain I can't get rid of. I wish we could all start over again but life isn't a dress rehearsal. There is always a silver lining...just not sure what that is yet. Thinking it is time for me to go tuck myself into my husbands arms again, life always feels better in those strong arms.

K