Oh the highs and the lows

So my husband came home yesterday from his first day at his new job and we went out to dinner to celebrate. We had the most delicious pumpkin cheesecake I ever did taste, so light and fluffy. I wanted to marry it. Anyway, he has his first business trip scheduled for next month already and it is in Vegas. My first thought was "Yeah! I love Vegas, it will be great!" Than he told me it is scheduled for Monday through Wednesday...while I am in school. Damn. If it were anything else, I would probably blow it off, but not school. I'm paying a lot of money for this and I really enjoy my Principles of Macroeconomics class. Losing these two days is not an option for me. Who would have thought I would enjoy spending two hours in a class where we discuss health care reform, the economy and Karl Marx? But I do.

I do have to say that before school started I already had some OCD tendencies and they have manifested to a higher level. I am anxiety ridden on writing a paper. I do my research (too much), pick a story (change my mind) and write the paper (several times). What the hell? The first story was too long. The second story wasn't complete enough. The third story is too simple. I made my husband check it for me, then on the day it was due I wrote a completely different paper. I made H check it for me, printed it and went home and made my husband check this one too. Changes, changes, I can't just write something and leave it, I obsess. It was a half page report that only took me 7 minutes to informally present to the class, on new laws to extend unemployment benefits. Geesh, if I keep this up I will never get homework done in the future. Sometimes I don't mind being all anal like this, especially at work, it helps me get things done. Sometimes, I hate it because I never feel like something is complete, I can always change it. This is why my blog entries are so damn long! Okay, I'm done, I'm out.

K

Many secrets to shred

When my parents so rudely abandoned me to move to Idaho, they left us many gifts. One was a big box of old documents to shred for them, since they didn't have the time. I worked overtime this weekend finally getting around to doing just that and I had both shredders going. My mom holds on to everything! There were old credit cards they never activated, old bank accounts long ago closed, and copies of things from 1995 that really..why?? As I moved swiftly through my shredding craze, I came upon a brittle old legal document that was stuck between folders. I opened it up carefully and I was like "WHAT??!!" For a moment I was Fred Sanford from Sanford and Son with my hand on my chest, thinking "This is it Elizabeth, this is the big one!". It was dated 1945 and it was a divorce decree for my Texas grandparents. The same two grandparents who are now buried right next to each other because that is what you do with old married couples, right?

All this time, they weren't even married!! You better believe I picked up that phone and called my mom to ask her about it. She fessed up and said she was only 5 when they got divorced and they never bothered to get remarried, so they decided to live together. How progressive for 1945! When I was just 16 years old, my grandmother advised me to live with a man before I married him because according to my grandmother "the way a man brushes his teeth could drive you over the edge, mija". Maybe my grandfathers brushing habits were the reason for the divorce, I don't know. No wonder she gave me that advice, she was doing it herself.

Oh, the scandal. I always thought my grandmother was a very independent woman and now I know where she got it from. I obviously didn't shred that divorce decree and am sending it to my mom along with a note asking if there are any more family secrets she is keeping from me. I am going to visit my grandparents grave this weekend with a whole new perspective on them both, they were way ahead of their time.

Lastly, a moment of silence for Little Gay R's relationship. It went belly up this weekend and though he can't see it yet, he will be just fine. He has a lot of friends to support him and we've all been there, haven't we? The sucky period where it feels like you will never be happy again and you second guess every move and conversation. You wallow in sad love songs and oh, the tears that could fill an ocean. He just needs to get past this bad part and he will be much happier. Easier said than done.

K

Nani Maka

I saw this post secret and was reminded of being in this position just 4 short months ago. Making the decision to let go of Nani was so hard but I'm glad we stayed with her. As hard as it was to watch, it is somewhat comforting knowing we held her and loved her up until the end and she didn't have to go alone. Maybe she never knew the difference, but we did.

K

I am not a racist!

I have now lost 47 lbs and a lot of my old clothes don’t fit me. Most of my “skinny clothes” also don’t fit me. I went shopping for pants but had a really hard time with the length. Usually I purchase 30 as the length but this time I bought 32 because the 30 seemed too short. Maybe I am getting taller! Actually Fast Eddie sort of measured me and found out that I may only be 5’10’ instead of 5’11” like I thought I was. I will ask my doc to measure me next time I am there.

Anyway, I bought 6 new pants a couple of weeks ago when I was in Austin. I have worn two of the jeans even though they were a bit long. I decided this week that I really needed to get them altered. What is up with all of the alteration shops in SA? They are all owned and operated by Asians. I have nothing against Asians but what the hell! I have been to three different places in this city and they all smelled the same, decorated the same and they were all rude to me. “Go there, put on!” “Get up there!” “Get down” “Take off!”

It actually smelled like an Indian restaurant in the shop I went in to yesterday.

Why they hell are they so expensive too? I left there spending $65 and I won’t get them until next Tuesday!! I have like 4 pants to wear for the next 7 days.

I have also developed a fear of tucking in my shirt. I used always tuck in my shirt! When I was at the gym was the only time my shirt wasn’t tucked in. I would even tuck in t-shirts with the soft work out short if I went to ther store. I hated being untucked then I got fat and didn’t feel comfortable tucking. I am a mess.

Let this be a lesson to all you fatties…losing weight creates other problems.

H

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

I realize we are in a recession right now but did I forget to mention that I recently got a $140 haircut and highlights? I have never paid that much for anything to do with my hair before. I've always been a Fantastic Sams/Super Cuts kind of girl and have never been happy with my hair. But Sebastian...oh Sebastian, magical keeper of hair secrets, now I get why people pay so much. I can actually get up the next morning and just brush it and it looks great. Why has no one ever told me these hair whisperers exist? I have never had highlights in my life, just dark color out of a box. Apparently, I've been doing it wrong for years. Who knew light was the way to go? But now that I have tasted the forbidden fruit, I must have it every 7 weeks.

You see, I don't have the easiest hair to manage, or that much of it to play around with. It has been thinning for years and Sebastian waved his magic wand and tada! It's not even about how it looks so much now, its the fact that it just feels so much better. Thank goodness my husband didn't blow a gasket when I told him how much it was. He knows that if I'm happy, he's happy. Smart man.

K

I have a dilemma

Mac or PC? I know, riveting stuff. I've been a PC girl all my life but I went to the Apple store (big mistake) and fell in love with a MAC. All the stuff it can do and how it feels. I really need one for school and I also found out I can get a discount with my school ID. Macs are pricier that's for sure but the 7 hour battery life...what to do, what to do. Too busy mulling it over to write more.

K

I think my sparkly red shoes are out of order because this just isn't home.

Tonight I feel very melancholy. We went to my parents house to pick up some stuff they left behind. It was very big and empty and it's always been full of good smells and conversation. Max enjoyed running all over the hard wood floors and sliding in a big and empty space. He wasn't usually allowed to be in there for too long because he was just too hyper to stay in their house. Standing in that house, for possibly the last time, I remembered all the times I had been there. I have been in and out of that house since I was 19 years old and my grandparents lived there.

When I moved away from home for the very first time after school, it was to that house. I spent the first Christmas, after my grandmother died, in that house with my lost grandfather and sad mother. When my parents moved in, after both my grandparents were gone, that house was full of Hawaii family that visited us in Texas. When my husband and I got married and moved to Texas, this was the first house we lived in before buying our own. Every single holiday that Big Red and I have spent here in Texas has been celebrated in that house with my parents. That house has been a part of my life for over 25 years and the thought of strangers renting it out and not knowing all of this made me sad.

I know it sounds ridiculous to shed tears over something like this, but there you have it. In the back of my mind I keep thinking after one winter in Idaho, they will be back. This is why they rented it out instead of selling it, right? Lord, let it be a cold Christmas in Boise because I miss my mommy and daddy.

K

Life goes on...

It's Tuesday and I am back at work, where I belong. Being off can be dangerous because we go shopping and out to eat too much. After my parents drove off and abandoned me Saturday, I was pretty down for most of the day. Big Red had to go off to work so Max and I crawled back in to bed and slept.

Sunday dawned rainy and cold, I loved it. We had planned to go to the Botanical gardens but it was so ugly outside we decided to go to a movie instead. We drove away from home and it started raining even harder so we went to McDonald's and bought coffee and cookies and went home instead. Good thing we did because look what greeted us.

Yep, that's right, Max. He had knocked over the laundry basket blocking the doggy door and figured out how to open said doggy door and wiggle out. I would say he is too smart for his own good but while he could figure out how to get out, he could not figure out how to get back in and was locked out in the rain and mud. Big Red had to pick him up and carry him to the tub where he promptly got a bath. Good thing we came home.


We ended up renting movies and since it was so cold outside I bought one of these too.

Laugh if you must but I am a Snuggie convert. We laugh at the stupid infomercials but I'll be damned if the damn thing didn't keep me warm and let me eat popcorn at the same time. Red and I took pictures of me using the phone, reading a book,etc... all the things they do in the commercials. We laughed but I stayed warm. Don't you just love how I blend right in to my couch?

We ended up trying to go out again that night but the line for Paranormal Activity was so long we went out to dinner instead. We were finally able to go see the movie on Monday morning and I wasn't as impressed as I thought I would be. Big Red got sick and had to leave the theatre, he doesn't like hand held camera work like the Blair Witch Project. It wasn't really worth it but we only paid $5 so we didn't feel so bad. Too much hype maybe. We also tried a new breakfast place, Einstein Bros. Bagels. Damn good coffee and delicious bagels. Go try it!

My parents are great and laughing it up in Vegas as we speak, I've talked to them twice and miss them but they are having a good time. Meanwhile, back in Texas life goes on and I go along with it. Back to the grind, wish I had some of the Vanilla Hazelnut coffee from Einstein Bros. right now. Still raining, do you ever wish for something and then regret it?

K

Bluer than blue

That was then...

This is now...

I just watched my parents tail lights drive on down the road, without me. They moved away today and I am feeling so down. I think I have been in denial about their move until today. Yesterday my dad called me at work to ask me if I wanted ketchup. Ketchup? Yes, ketchup, they were cleaning out their fridge. I could hear my mom in the background yelling "Ask her if she wants the olives too". He called me back later to ask me if I wanted their steak knives. My parents are a regular comedy duo, those two.

They spent their last night at our house and we had a good dinner and sat around the table and talked. I miss them so much already. As soon as I saw the tears in my moms eyes this morning, I knew it was going to be a rough goodbye. I'm quite sure Big Red and I will be visiting them quite often but just the fact that they won't be five minutes down the street anymore is agonizing. As much as I complained about the little stuff, and as happy as I am that they are moving closer to my baby brother, a small part of me is selfish and wish they had stayed.

These upcoming holidays will either suck or be wonderfully different. I've grown up having so much family around me all the time and now it will just be the two of us. I hope Big Red is ready for all me, all the time. I think I hear him rolling his eyes already.

K

Just because your phone has a camera, it doesn't mean you should use it for that!

This morning a visitor turned in a cell phone he found outside our building. Little Gay R, being our front desk coordinator, shows us (Kugo) the phone. Now in order to find out who it belongs to, we had to look at the numbers, pictures, text messages and lo and behold...there it is. WHAT? Nudity, she whispers. Woke me up faster than a cup of coffee. You better believe the two gay guys grabbed that phone out of my hot little hands so fast I almost got whiplash. Not only is there nudity but there are some rather explicit text messages. I supposed we expected this considering right across the street is a seedy little gay bar.

So we text the creative little naked author and tell him we found this phone and ask him if he knows who it belongs to. He does and he is coming by later to pick the phone up, for his friend. Do you think the three of us will wait at the front desk to see him when he comes in? You betcha. After all, we've already seen him naked, why not see what he looks like with clothes on?

Don't put things on your phone you wouldn't want strangers to see. Lesson learned, people. I have to go find reasons to hang out at the front desk now.

K

Oh yeah, we forgot to pay you...

Our payroll company forgot to send a paycheck to our facilities lady today. FORGOT. The same lady we call 'Chicken Little' because as far as she is concerned, the sky is falling for every little thing. Don't think she didn't just walk in, while I am in the middle of a meeting, to tell me she did not get a paycheck. She did. Monday's kind of suck, don't they?

Maybe this positive energy stuff actually works.

You ever forget how blessed you truly are? I do, until something wonderful happens to remind me. Yesterday, something fell in to our lap that will make our lives so much easier and I am so thankful for it. Can I also just tell you that my husband is a brilliant and hard working man that I am lucky to have. I always told him I saw potential in him, even if he didn't. To top it all off, it's Friday. What a great way to end a long week, I knew this week had to end on a high note.

K