I love you. You love me too...right?

I read an article this morning about the moment every person in a new relationship dreads. When one of you is the first to say "I love you" and you hope they say it back. This woman said it first and he didn't say it back so she is now freaking out. Has this ever happened to you? I have to admit I have only said it first once. But I have been on the receiving end of it when I didn't feel the same. Let's call him O'Henry.

O'Henry was one of the relationships I had just because I had nothing else going on at the time. You know what I mean right? The just passing time guy? He was in the military and was transferred to San Diego from Hawaii after a couple of months of us dating. I figured it would wear itself out as most long distance relationships do in time. Who knew he would turn in to an obsessed stalker? At first I loved all the attention. Phone calls every day and cards and letters all the time. He used to clip out that little newspaper cartoon "Love is..." Remember those? The little chubby couple who always said something cute like "Love is...never having to say you're sorry."

Anyway, he also sent gifts and those always made me scratch my head. He would send a memento of dates we had like a stuffed dolphin for the time we went to Sea Life Park or a carved boat sculpture for the time we went on a dinner cruise. What? Why?

Now I am not a collector of stuff, never was and never will be. I consider stuff like that clutter and just don't like knick knacks. After I got the second box of stuff he called me to talk and that is when he pulled out the big guns and said the words. They totally took me by surprise because I didn't think we were moving in that direction. I mean he was gone, how far could this relationship go? I sort of giggled and told him that he was so sweet. He told me I didn't have to say it back and that in time it would come. I remember a switch going off in my brain and that is when he moved to the junk pile. My way of dealing with the junk pile was to stuff them in a closet and forget them. Who knew O'Henry would become more persistent ie: desperate?

Once I started avoiding him like the plague he would leave long messages on my answering machine and not just one but like seven in a row all within an hour. Psycho. We finally talked and I told him it was over and he seemed to be okay. Time moved on and two years later he sent me a letter out of the blue telling me he still thought about me and to write to him if I felt the same. Needless to say I never wrote. O'Henry wasn't the only relationship where I gave less than I received but again...thanks to my heartbreaking first love, I'm not sure if I ever gave 100% until I met my husband.

I know, I know...how did reading this article turn in to a post about an ex? I don't know, it just reminded me of that particular relationship. Sometimes I think it's good to examine old relationships because it makes me feel even stronger about the one I am currently in. I like to think I learn from past mistakes, isn't that human nature?

K

What?

So the building down the block burned down last night and we are now without phone service here at work. How those two are related I have no idea, I was hoping you could explain it to me. It feels weird sitting in my office with no phone and having to call people I don't know very well on my cell phone. What if I am missing the most important phone call of my life at work? What if the sweepstakes people only have my work number? What if a long lost love has the urgent need to profess his love for me and can only find my work number? What if everyone's cell phone dies and we need to call the police? Okay, now I'm just messing with my own head.

K

My usual Monday random post

It's Monday morning and I am currently on my first McDonald's coffee of the day. I know, you would think I am advertising McDonald's or Wii on this blog. Trust me if I could make some money this way, I would. Being an anal accountant I broke down my daily coffee intake and realized that I could save $390 a year if I just drank coffee at home. I hate being an over-analyzer; it brings me down sometimes. But we did buy a $200 Senseo coffee maker and yet I go out for coffee?

The weekend as usual was too short. While we did Wii this weekend, Red and I also managed to do the domestic tasks we never manage to get around to during the week. Laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, sex....I miss seeing my husband when he is on this shift. Girl got to get it where she can.

So we went to Costco to stock up and there was a Smart Car in the parking lot. I laughed and wondered, not for the first time, how much can you fit in to this car? I mean if the driver brought a friend, where would all the stuff go? You can't go to Costco and get one little thing, at least I can't. We thought about sitting and waiting to see but we had stuff to do!

I may have to take a break from the Wii, I woke up with tennis elbow. My right arm is a little achy and weak but damn if it wasn't fun. I laughed so hard that I couldn't catch my breath. My husband was hysterical when we played tennis doubles and now I am addicted to the Wii sports. We laughed and played so hard that the minute we won, we ran around the couch with our arms in the air and then ran to the bedroom and had victory sex. See?! I am getting a workout from Wii!

K

Wii

OMG!!

Wii FIT IS Wii FUCKING FUN!!!

I had a blast last night all by myself (with the blinds down of course).

Once it registered my weight the chart zoomed up to obese...obese. Ugh! Not just overweight...but obese! My BMI was 33%, WTF?! Aside from being too fat I loved it. The Yoga and strength training was hard but the aerobic and balance exercises were a blast. I haven't unlocked everything but I can't wait to do the hula hoop, tight rope and ski jump again...after I go to the gym after work. By the time 40 minutes was up I was dripping with sweat and laughing at myself. It measures your Wii fit age and I was at 49! It's a tragedy I tell ya. Obviously I have some work to do. Wii was totally worth the $10,000,000 we paid for it.

K

Wow, when did hell freeze over? If H wrote, hell must be a frozen tundra. I didn't even know H was still around, I heard he got a bus to gaytown and never looked back.

Today as I left work there was a beautiful crescent moon in the sky... a sign of good things to come. Today is Inauguration Day and I couldn't not, no wait that would be a double negative - could not be happier or more hopeful. I know we are in for a long struggle but at least help is on the way. I have faith and will remain optimistic. I wonder if this is how people felt when Bush took office? 6 months from now will I be the glass half empty girl? Sigh...I can't change my spots.

Big Red and I went out and bought Wii this weekend. I know, I know...I told H that Red and I are children with a bank account. Red finally hooked it up yesterday and what do you think I did from 5 to 9? I wasted 4 hours of my life playing a game and I loved it! We also bought Wii fit, did we hook that up yet? No. But I did go the gym yesterday and finally got back on the horse.

Okay, I have to go get some work done because I will be wasting most of my day watching President Obama take office on my computer. Well he won't be taking office "on" my computer but you know what I mean. I thought about calling out so I could witness this historic day but one: I don't have children to share it with so I would just be sitting in an old folks home some day spouting off about this day and all the other old people would be like "Shut up!" and H would turn to me and say "We all saw the dang blasted thing you old hag!". Two: I think I would just end up playing Wii all day and end up missing the whole shebang and I'm not sure I could live with myself if I really did end up playing Wii all day. I'd be too ashamed to admit it to anyone except H and Red. Even then that is really pushing it.

K

WHAT THE HELL!

K, what the hell is that stoopid slideshow on the right? Am I 83 years old? Am I dying? OMG, maybe I am Benjamin Button but I don't know it. NOOOOO, that is as stoopid as the slideshow to the right!!
POR QUE!?

h

Correction to my last post

ooops....heee heee....H just arrived with a large coffee from McDonald's. What I meant to say in my last post was H is my hero! For he's a jolly good fellow...

K

I almost died last night!

You ever have both your parents on the phone at the same time and you have to repeat everything you say? Oy Vey! Yesterday was their wedding anniversary, which my dad forgot about. When I called to wish them Happy 48 years my mom replied with "you're the only one who remembered". When my dad got on the other line they proceeded to argue which I had to listen to...I wanted to stick knives in my eardrums so I wouldn't have to listen anymore.

Anyway, they kept asking me why I was cutting out so much and I figured it was just their phone. So Big Red comes in to kiss me goodnight 'cause he had to go to work, and I notice the Internet is down as well. I check the cable and the guide isn't showing up either. It finally dawns on me that cable, phone and Internet is down and I am utterly alone with no means of communication!!! I immediately think some crackpot is outside the house cutting our cable line because he saw my husband leave and is waiting to attack me while my defenses are down. I knew someday I would meet a sticky end.

So instead of calling Time Warner Cable I decided to lock the dogs and myself in the bedroom and hide under the covers. It is approximately 8:03 and this is the witching hour for most mass murderers. I text Red to let him know that I am a sitting duck for any escaped convicts roaming our neighborhood and he texts me back to call the cable company. I respond with "The phone is down! Hello!" To which he answers "Then how are you texting me??". Ah yes...my cell phone works.

Feeling just a tad stupid, I decide instead of being proactive I would rather just do my best impression of a senior citizen and sleep. I slept for nine hours last night and have had 2 large coffees this morning, it is only 7:20 a.m. I just texted H and he will not stop at McDonald's and get me another coffee because he is an ass. Men are useless creatures in times of need, aren't they?

K

Annoyed much?

Today is Michelle's birthday and I wish her a happy birthday even if she doesn't know how to pronounce the word "wolves", she said wooves. Made us laugh out loud. She told me the other morning she was taking a break from her boyfriend then proceeded to have lunch with him that day. I'm thinking girl doesn't know the meaning of a break.

Can I tell you two things that annoy me. Not necessarily today but in general. One is people who don't bathe on a regular basis. How do you not want to bathe? I just had a conversation with H that I always feel better after a nice hot shower. When I have had a bad day, I come home and immediately wash the day away and it puts me in a better mood. I mean aside from the whole hygienic angle people should bathe every day, no?

My other annoyance is people with masters degrees who don't do anything with them. Why did you waste all that time and money if it doesn't mean anything to you and you're never going to use it? It leaves me shaking my head in wonder. We have a couple of those people here at work. You could be so much further ahead in your career right now and making much more money but you sit here and shrug your shoulders and say "I don't know if I want to." Just some things you should have pondered on before you got the masters. One of those people has such anxiety that she breaks down in tears and can't pass a test to get her license. Wow. She should be seeing someone for this. I can only imagine this same anxiety holds her back from enjoying life in general.

K

New Years Resolutions

Be meaner to people.
Not be nicer to people.
Be myself.

K

It's not like I'm keeping count or anything...

but H has not written in this blog since October. So like a typical woman, I carry the burden of keeping this thing going while H twiddles his thumbs and yanks his chain. He had a two week vacation where he readily admitted that he did absolutely nothing but couldn't so much as write one thing in this blog that was his idea in the first place. He's such a bitch.

I had to read back to the last time I was feeling sick and it was March 2008. Every year I am blessed with the sickness. I have had both the flu and pneumonia shot yet here I am congested with a sore throat and feeling like dog shit. I blame Big Red. He was sick last week and I wouldn't let him kiss me or hold my hand because I did not want to get sick. He told me he was all better so we kissed and BAM! Here I am feeling sick. Did I feel bad waking him up at 5:15 yesterday morning to tell him that because he was a huge liar I was now sick? HELL NO! He's such a bitch.

Let's just get this out here as well...I took a little tumble at the movie theatre last week because we walked in late and I couldn't see the stairs when the screen went dark during a scene. I'm glad H and Edgar laughed so hard they had to hold their stomachs when I told them the story yesterday. I'm glad my pain and humiliation was folly for my friends so early in this new year. I'm glad they were so concerned about my safety that when Edgar asked me if I hurt myself and I said yes, he laughed even harder. He's such a bitch.

I sense a theme running through this blog. When I feel sick, I'm such a bitch. (Said in my whinniest voice in a spanish accent that ends on a high note)

K

It's too fucking cold outside.

K

Grinchy much?

Can I just say I love the Breaking and Entering Christmas on the Kidd Kraddick show every year. Makes my little Grinch hating whoville heart grow three sizes. Why is it only Christmas that mankind renews my faith but the rest of the year they reinforce my skepticism that people are basically good? Why does this have to be the general look when people walk in my office and ask me stupid and redundant questions like why are we lowering the mileage in 2009 and why does our finance assistant continue to spell the word "milage" like this?

Why does Edgar have to come in here and want to debate how miles per gallon translates to us reimbursing him for mileage? I find myself spewing on how the IRS does not determine mileage on only gas prices but depreciation and maintenance on your vehicle yet why do I care, it's Edgar? I don't even work for the IRS. It's like have a debate with Roman, doesn't really matter the subject, he simply doesn't have a clue on why he is even debating. I enjoy proving both of them wrong, it's a hobby of mine. I was a bossy child, can you tell?

K

Weren't the Osmonds mormon? WTF is up with me and mormons?

Who had their office Christmas party today at a kinda lame mexican place? Who went drinking after said party and laughed her ass off? Who laughed all the way home (assless) because someone would not shut up when his check engine light came on? The things you have to put up with from a designated driver. Almost makes me want to quit drinking...almost.

I also admitted tonight, in front of my group, that I used to have the biggest love of my life school girl teenage heartbreak crush on...Donny Osmond. It's true. Who didn't love that crazy page boy hair and corduroy hat?? Don't even get me started on the big 'ole white teeth, made my little girl heart thump right out of her chest. I never missed the Donny and Marie Show - "I'm a little bit country and I'm a little bit rock and roll".....you know I sat there singing along out loud and proud! I had my whole room done in purple because he liked purple. I had his double album that I would play and look at his pictures with hearts in my eyes like crazy cartoon lovers. I knew without a doubt in my mind that when I grew up I would be Mrs. Donny Osmond. Oh how fun it would be to be part of the big Osmond family and Marie and I would be like sisters!

Then one dark day, we were watching T.V. and there it was. The announcement that forever changed my life. Donny Osmond got married. There it was, like a cold hard slap in my young, adolescent face and my tiny heart shattered in a million pieces. I ran to my bedroom, ripped one of his posters off the wall and flung myself face down on my bed in hysterical sobs. I clearly remember my father coming in after me and rubbing my back and telling me it was going to be okay but I would never be okay again. (oh, how my father must have wanted to laugh at me) I hated her! How could she take my Donny away? I must have played "Puppy Love" and "I knew you when" hundreds of times while I cried in my pillow. I was at least 10 years old and thought my whole world had come crashing in. Good times.

Who just listened to all her Donny Osmond oldies on I-tunes and now feels sad? BIG BUCK TOOTHED BASTARD WHO BROKE MY HEART! Who, apparently, has never quite gotten over this loss from 3 decades ago? I think I'm going to go and remind my husband how lucky he is that Donny married someone else.

K

A date which will live in infamy

FDR said that famous quote when he declared war on Japan right after they bombed Pearl Harbor. Well, it wasn't a famous quote when he said it but it is now. We went to Fredericksburg Texas to walk around and do some Christmas shopping. As we arrived, the place was packed with military and it dawned on me that today is December 7th. IT'S THE DAY JAPAN ATTACKED PEARL HARBOR PEOPLE! I should have really remembered this since this is also a big day in Hawaii. We watched the ceremony and it was very moving but the coolest part were the planes. The old military planes were doing some very low flying moves and it was so awesome to see. Just sitting there listening to stories made me tear up. Red and I were so glad we got to see this. They have Nimitz museum smack dab in the middle of Main Street and that is where the ceremony was being held.

We also ended up at a German Christmas festival downtown and we had a blast. Eating roasted peanuts, watching ice skaters, and drinking hot apple cider as we looked at all the historic buildings. Such a pretty town and everyone was so friendly. We are starting to make it a monthly trek to drive to other parts of Texas to explore and enjoy. We ended the day at La Cantera doing more Christmas shopping. Today was a good day.

K

Great Expectations

While Big Red is working the late shift this week I have had some free time on my hands. Have I been Christmas shopping, cleaning house, building a monastery, feeding the orphans or creating world peace? These would all be valid and useful ways to spend my free time but no. When I am looking for entertainment it either comes in the form of books or old movies, so who has been burning up Turner Classic Movies? What bliss...

Last night I watched Dickens classic 'Great Expectations' and I loved it. (NOT THE GWYNETH PALTROW VERSION, THE ORIGINAL! AS IF!)I had only seen the Southpark version of old Miss Havisham and Pip and couldn't seem to get that crap out of my head. I laughed when Miss Havisham told Pip "You look like the model of gaiety". How sad that our language had diminished so much that the word gay no longer means happy. I believe this is the reason I love the classics like Sense and Sensibility or Pride and Prejudice; because of the language. Back then they used 7,000 words to say something that could have been said in 10. I may use that line on H though, it certainly applies.

Old Hollywood was great, I miss it. Not because I was ever there (how old am I??) but I love the shorts they play between movies that depict life back in the day. That was when stars were big and glamorous and didn't look like the rest of us. While I was watching this movie I kept thinking Herbert Pocket looked so familiar and then I saw his name, Alec Guinness. Why did that name seem so familiar? I went and looked him up and he played Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars! It also stated that despite everyone's better judgement, he believed Star Wars would be a hit and negotiated 2% of the profits...how right was he? Funny how he hated being only known for that character yet that character made him so rich and famous.

See?! This is why I watch old black and white movies, so much history and interesting facts to be learned. Lord knows my head is full of useless and trivial shit and I can only hope someday this will come in handy. It is also with some sadness that I realize this makes me seem so old and I don't know anyone else who share's this love of mine. Maybe there is a support group for me? My hubby will tolerate it but more often than not falls asleep next to me while I immerse myself in the book or movie. I love the fact that he still does it just to be with me and I appreciate him for it. It's a good day indeed when I have good books, good old movies on TV and a new goose down comforter from Macy's. Next on my indulgence list? Christmas movies here I come!

K

I thought it was gonna be plate lunches...

We went to a new eating establishment last night for dinner so I thought I would pretty much sum up my dining experience. We went because it was Hawaiian food and we have been waiting for months for this place to open. I mean we literally drove by every week to check it out. It's called Ohana's Hawaiian Grill and it's off of 1604 and Hausman. Now if you're in a rush, this is not the place to go because even though the wait staff was very friendly this is like a 5 course place. I started with the key lime martini which smelled like key lime but was strong as shit, I mean I could have breathed fire after a sip. Nothing wrong with a strong drink but I wanted to taste something else besides the vodka.

Next was the appetizer or if you were truly from Hawaii it is pupu, teriyaki chicken wings which were big and crispy but not very teriyaki tasting. Good flavor just not teriyaki tasting. This place was more Japanese than Hawaiian with our Benihana like set up and the cook doing the fancy moves. We moved on to the soup which was really just beef broth, and salad which was just okay. They could skip those two things and move the meal along, I was starving already! Then he started with the shrimp and it was somewhat tasty but I gave H most of them. We moved on to the veggies which were actually pretty good and then fried rice for R that we all got to taste, delicious. I do have to say that the chicken and steak were so tender and tasty and the sauces he had for them were ono! While I enjoyed the main course, I'm not so sure it was $90 good and we didn't even have sushi like the others!

I didn't care for the set up because it wasn't really conducive to conversation with the 7 people we had but I had Big Red on one side of me and H on the other so I had myself a fun time. While my hubby's Kalua Pig was good (he loved it) and R's Loco Moco (see picture above) looked delicious (he loved it too), I consider myself somewhat of an expert on local food and this wasn't really what I was expecting. It was upscale and all but a little pricey. Since my brother has a Hawaiian restaurant I have something to compare it to and I think my brothers is much more tasty and reasonable; but I am somewhat bias. Would I go back again? Yes, but I would try the lunch menu and the dessert because their choices sounded good. It is worth trying if you miss plate lunches and like to be entertained during dinner.

All in all it was a fun night because of the company and Saturday night was alright for fighting!

K

The pie heard 'round the world

I walk in to my parent's home carrying homemade mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving and immediately my mother says "Did you bring pie?". Now this conversation of who should bring what took place last weekend and when I said I would bring pie, I was shot down because my dad said he was making a pie. My response? "You said not to because dad was making a pie?". She retorts with "He did, but that's not enough for everyone, you said you were bringing a pie." UGH...it was not a good start. Firstly, who the hell is everyone? I thought it was just four of us, no one told me my aunt and uncle were coming and then my cousin and her boyfriend...how about the Indians? Are they coming too? Sorry, should I have said Native Americans?

My dad walks in and tells me there is enough pie so I walk out of the kitchen to go sit in the living room where my smart husband follows me. We know better than to have a battle of wits with my mom on a holiday. Big Red asks me if he should go to the store to buy a pie and my dad walks in and tells him absolutely not! So I whisper to my husband "If Jesus himself drops down and commands you to eat pie, don't you do it!" For that comment, WE WILL NOT EAT THE PIE SO THERE IS ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE! Geesh...I wanted to go home and get back in to bed after the verbal sparring my mothers handed down. She always has something to say and H knows because our mom's are twins when it comes to backhanded comments.

Despite the whole pie fiasco the food was great and the company was okay. My cousin showed up with her new boyfriend, some cop in uniform because he was on the job. I was hoping he was the same cop that pulled me over Tuesday morning for pigging backing to get through that red light but no luck. Get this. When I asked my aunt about her daughters new boyfriend she told me this would be the first time they were meeting him...yes, she chose Thanksgiving as the time to introduce him to the family. What a bonehead move. He seemed nice but I was not in the cop loving mood after Tuesday and of course Edgar's name comes up. WTF? Does Edgar know everyone in San Antonio? He tells me to say hi to Edgar, right. Say it yourself since you know him so well, he's not my work husband and get your ass back out there and get to work! Are there not criminals still at work, even on a holiday? Can you tell I was still bitter?

I did manage to walk in the kitchen where he was eating and say over the top of everyone "Make sure you have some pie, there's enough for everyone!". I did not get a ticket just a warning (not for the pie comment) but I am still not a fan of the men in blue even if I was in the wrong. Oh yeah, Big Red's mom is staying with us for a couple of nights. His sisters family dropped her off Thanksgiving eve and they proceeded to tell us all about the blast they had in Cancun so now we have to go to Cancun! All inclusive resort and they did all this fun stuff like hike the Mayan ruins and snorkel...I so want to go and all for the low low bargain basement price of $1,600 for both of them! H, the four of us are going to Mexico!

K

Tequila sunrise

I know the view isn't much to look at, what do you want? It's work! But the sky...the beautiful sky and all it's changing colors. It was pink, purple, orange, then blue...who wouldn't be thankful for a morning like this? I drove to work looking at this and smiling. It's not often I smile on my way to work. When I parked and got to the front door of the office I had to turn around and take a picture of this from my phone. I'm happy because it's a short day before a long weekend.

I plan to stuff myself with turkey, nap and make long, sweet love with my husband. Yes, I am aware I put eating before making love. A girl has her priorities. My mother in law is coming to stay with us for a couple of nights and I'm okay with that. At least we don't have to drive to Austin to see her.

Okay, I have to get some work done. I just wanted to stop and share for a moment before I dive head first in to work and forget everything else.

K

Have you ever had anyone named after you?

Did I ever tell you I have a namesake? Not a niece, or cousin, or even a family friend...but a dog. A dog named K, it's actually a Hawaiian name but I don't use it here in Texas 'cause no one can pronounce it. She was a cute little black puppy 12 years ago when I left home and my cousin B named her after me. B and I were close, like two peas in a pod close. We spent every weekend together, my life consisted of my family and that's about it.

When I lived in Hawaii it was all about the ohana. There were guys always in the background but my strongest bond was with my cousins (mostly male). We got together every weekend and supported Budweiser. We could easily finish off cases and cases of beer and we frequently did. If you're not from Hawaii it's difficult to understand the relationships formed. Hawaii is EXPENSIVE! Which is why so many families live at home for many, many years and I was no exception. I had a cottage behind my parents main house since we lived on a big acre of land. This cottage was never locked because so much family came and went. It was never empty, even when I was at work, one or more of my cousins was asleep on the couch. These were good days and I never worried about going out and getting drunk because I was with my ohana and we always took care of each other.

Anyhow, back to my namesake. The time came when I got serious about someone (Big Red) and I decided to leave Hawaii to be with him. Only when I went home again this past week did I learn what a big deal this was. Apparently one of my brothers had called my cousins to action to do a background check on my future husband because they needed to find out who this guy was taking me away from my home! It was most traumatic for B because we were so close. So before I left home he got a puppy to replace me. As if one could. I found out last week that this dog is still alive and living with my other cousin F and doing fabulous! We are a hearty stock. B left Hawaii as well to live in his wife's home state up east. Most of us drifted away...it has been 12 years.

Many good things came out of going home for my grandmother's funeral...we celebrated her life and for the first time since I moved away all of us grand kids got together again to reconnect. We came from Virginia, Maryland, Texas, Idaho, California, Kauai, and the Big Island and this is exactly what she would have wanted. The night of the funeral we toasted to her and got old time drunk and spent the evening saying "remember when...". Man, I'm exhausted and need to get used to the time difference. Beer and I will be taking a brief vacation from one another for a while but I have no doubt we will see each other again in the very near future.

K