Oh good Lord, what day is this? Where am I? How did I get here and other things people say when they forgot what they were talking about...

GHOST CHILDREN OF THE OFFICE - Don't Fast Eddie and Michelle look like they are haunting the building? This is how we punish people at the office. We make you stand outside in the hot sun while we eat ice cream inside.

I have lost all sense of time. Off for 4 days and I am now too stupid to function. How did they handle time in the old days? I am so used to having computers, phones, watches, clocks everywhere telling me what time and what day it is, so how did they get stuff done in the old west? If you were going to say, meet a friend for lunch, when you were done plowing the field, how did you know what time to be there? Did you have to look at the position of the sun and thus burn your retinas? Did you just show up when you were hungry? What about Birthdays? If there was no calendar hanging up on the wall, how did you know when to bake a cake? Did school just start whenever they got there? I guess there were no tardies back then. Don't you ever wish you could go back in time just to find out this small stuff? I do, all the time. But just for a couple of hours because any longer and I would probably end up dead from sheer stupidity.

I would not be one of those people you want on a deserted island, trust me. I'm not really good with manual labor or building a radio out of a coconut. I can't build anything, I can't grow anything, I can't even sew a button. I'd be Gilligan. Not only would I never survive but I wouldn't want to. Which reminds me of the time H, Little Gay R and I were wondering what it would be like to be the last 3 people left on earth and what we would do. While H and I talked about where we would live, what we would gather to eat, Little Gay R decided he would go sightseeing. Because he has never seen the Grand Canyon or a beautiful beach so why not go in the off season? This is why H and I talked about killing him if it we were the last 3 left 'cause who wouldn't get irritated with some tourist taking pictures while we were trying to SURVIVE? Can you imagine having to look at his slide show while we are running out of food and water? Never once did we ask ourselves why on earth we would even be the last 3 people on earth.

I had absolutely no intention of writing about this when I got here and look at how easily I have gone off rambling about trivial shit. Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. No wonder my husband has selective hearing. Which reminds me. Little Red and I were talking about this boy she likes and oh, how she would turn a lovely shade of red if she saw this post. This boy, let's call him Rico Suave, is her first real "like" and they "made out" before she left for this visit. She is 17! While we were sitting in the dining room discussing boys and all that implies, Mr. Selective hearing over in the living room is all "WHAT? WHAT DOES MAKING OUT MEAN?!". Why, when I ask him to take the trash out, he tells me "I didn't hear you" but this he hears? Eavesdrop much? I need to find some time alone with Little Red to dish the dirt and let her know about boys. I'm quite sure it will go in one ear and out the other but I have to let her know or else I wouldn't be doing my duty.

Again, where am I going with THE POST THAT WILL NEVER END END END. Frankly, I see no end in sight and the more you complain, the longer it's going to get. We finally had thunder storms last night and we did what the trainer asked us to do. We took Max outside in the thunder and made him sit there with us. How unpleasant do you think this was for all 4 of us? We finally had to come back in when raindrops the size of pumpkins started to fall from the sky. We did this twice to make him face his fear and to help him realize that nothing bad will happen when thunder comes. I don't know if it helped, but it was thundering this morning and he was sound asleep, along with Big Red when I left for work. I can only hope that repeating this process will help him overcome his fear. I didn't feel good about doing it and I wanted to scoop him up in my arms and comfort him, but I held back and let him sort it out. Being a dog mom sucks sometimes.

Allow me to leave you with this picture I took yesterday at one of my favorite pizza places. I realize spelling and pluralization are not that important to you when you are probably only making $6 an hour but surely a manager wouldn't want this out on display for all to snicker at. It made me giggle. If anyone is still awake after reading this War and Peace of a post I wish I had something rewarding to leave you with but I don't. Hope you all had a lovely holiday and since I am only here for 3 days this week I am quite sure I will be back to waste more time. I am a spectacular time waster if I do say so myself.

K

RRRRREEEEEAAAAALLLLLYYYYY...

Screw choosing your battles! I say fight them all. Today I chose to do that. I was sick and tired of a contract person that works in one of our programs. She is extremely difficult to work with because everything becomes an issue and gets complicated when she is involved.

She was at the office today and asked me about 10 questions and made things difficult. I smiled and answered her questions. She then called me 30 minutes later and asked me the same damn questions. She said that she wanted to make sure I understood what she was trying to tell me. I kept telling her, '...like I told you earlier' or '...we discussed this earlier' but she insisted on asking more. I finally told her that she was making this more complicated than it needed to be and that she really didn't need to know anymore information because it wasn't relevant to her work with us. I also told her that I understood exactly what she was saying and that she needed to stop and listen to what I was saying so SHE could understand.

K is right, this is not a good time around here and am out of patience for stupid questions.

H

The view from my desk or how do I get any work done with this?

You know what I love about my friends? They get me. Not everyone gets me. They know me and they don’t give me grief if I’m in a bad mood. They don’t make me feel bad or get upset if I don’t have time to talk. They accept it and don’t take it personally. When I want to cut loose and laugh, they are right there laughing with me. Our lunches are hysterical and if you don’t know us you would be lost. We move quickly, we speed joke. If you can’t keep up, you’re out! We move from one dig to the next and the subject matter changes quickly so you really have to get your comment in or your two thousand and late!

With friends like that at work who doesn’t want to come in every day?

K

Artificial

So yesterday I completely felt exhausted. I felt like I just wanted to collapse into a heap of fat and head. I was reminded that just becuase I can't feel emotion I still am not happy. I am artificially happy. I hate it. I am slowly coming to terms with some of my most pressing issues. I have a long way to go though.

I also feel like I don't know how long I can stay in my current job. The thing is that I don't have the energy or the desire to go look for another job. The idea of starting over at a new job just makes me want to bork. In my current job there are some changes in the near future -- maybe.
I hope that that will be enought to change my attitude. I am not sure.

Oh, I am also an old lady now. A grandgaymother if you will. I had to stop and buy a daily pill dispenser becuase I cannot remember to take my meds. Yesterday R had to bring me my meds at work becuase I forgot to take it. By mid morning I thought wait, I think I did take my pill this morning. I think I may have taken two yesterday. I don't know.

I think I just need to take a week off and veg. I want to do nothing. I don't want to travel anywhere, especially not in a plane.

What the fuck was I saying...

It's HOT in here!

Ok, so we moved into a new home nearly 18 months ago. Yea, like a year and a half. So we put in new ceiling fans to keep us cool. So far so good. The fans in the living room, and the other bedrooms work very well. It is really cold in there. Sometimes we have to turn them down or even off.

The one in our bedroom never felt like that. It blew some air but never really felt like it was on high. So about 6 months into being in our home I asked Money Butt to make sure it was spinning the right way. He used his long monkey arms to check it out. He said he couldn't find a switch. I told him there has to be one. He said he would check later but he never did. He was certain that there was nothing up there to switch and insisted it was turning the right way.

Ok, forward one year later. It is like a 124 degrees outside and I told him I was sure the ceiling fan wasn't working right. Again, he jumped on the bed and used his monkey arms to feel around on top of the fan. Sooooooo, he found the fucking switch this time because I made him really feel around. I turned it on and it nearly knocked me off the bed. It was like Hurricane Katrina blowing from our ceiling. This morning I was even wind burned. (I wanted to type win burned because that sounds right to me)!

OMFG! We laughed so hard for a very long time. I don't know if it is the meds but I couldn't stop laughing. For a fucking year and a half we were hot in our bedroom at night. Fucking dumbasses. Then we had sex.

This pic is what R looked like last night.

Colton Ford...seriously look him up!!!!