Computers are down at work today because of a blown transformer outside and it is June 30th. THE LAST DAY OF OUR FISCAL YEAR WHEN WE HAVE TEN MILLION CHECKS TO WRITE AND EIGHT MILLION DEPOSITS TO GET IN AND PAYROLL DUE. I HAVE NO INTERNET TODAY. I'm not going to panic...I will just be over here in the corner quietly crying. No, I'm fine, really. Just ignore my shallow breathing and dilated pupils as I blog remotely from my phone. I hope some one hid all the sharp objects.
K

At least cows don't talk

Okay so today I had kind of a stressful day and I was feeling a little anxiety over our deadline tomorrow. The 2:00 benefits meeting, I completely forgot I even had until they showed up, had me holding back yawns and losing focus to the point of almost falling asleep. Since I wasn't paying attention they asked me a question and in return they got my best impression of a deer in headlights. I managed to mumble somewhat coherent answers or basically bullshit my way through it all. All I know is I ended up with more paperwork I need to get done by Thursday. How I walk out of meetings with more shit to do, I'll never understand. H says that we need to be less competent that way they will stop giving us more work to do and I'm beginning to think he is right. H and I are too damn responsible for our own good, but I just can't see not doing my best every day. Why can't I just not care about my job?


I had people asking me stupid questions all day, a boss who isn't even going to be at work tomorrow, and a very long list of things I need to make sure I get done, which virtually ensures I will forget something, no doubt something of utmost importance. AND IT'S PAYROLL DAY, DAMN!! I forgot about that too, do you think anyone would mind if they didn't get paid on time? I am e-mailing myself at work to REMEMBER PAYROLL. With all this anxiety do you think I stayed late to get it done? No, I came home and played Farm Town on Facebook. I don't want to go back to real life tomorrow, I think I'm just going to move to Farm Town and grow crops and raise cows. They don't have any fiscal year end closings or finance meetings to attend. They sit around in their rockers watching corn grown and say "yup" all day. Some days, reality sucks.



K

Welcome to the dog blog

Good Morning! Hey look, it's Monday again. It's amazing how that always happens. It was a good weekend as most of them are. I have realized once again that out of all my friends, the one I enjoy spending the most time with is my husband. We laugh and love a lot and he makes me happy. Saturday was spent with our dog trainer Ian and his second training lesson with Maximillion, which was really good. Ian is my new facebook friend and he recommended we join a dog group to socialize Maxipad so we did. Our first event is a dog walk coming up in July and we are so excited.
Ian brought his dog and Maximus did really well with him. You know what I hate the most about this picture? Do you see my brown grass? This is a full on Texas summer with water restrictions in place. Some of my neighbors are out at 3 a.m. watering their lawn, not me. I say it will come back when the rain comes.
We had to take turns walking Maximum security and teaching ourselves (not Maxed out) how to do it. Up and down the sidewalk in our neighborhood, I hope our neighbors enjoyed the show. The trainer totally called me out on tensing up when other dogs or people are around. The walk didn't last long, it was 100 degrees out!
Once again, we went to the park on Sunday morning for more training and play time for Maximum overdrive. We followed it up with breakfast out and a trip to Petco to get Maximum density more snacks. We had fun spending the weekend out socializing Maxis and spending time together as a family. Don't you just have days when you feel happy and your heart puffs out little love clouds? This was one of those weekends.

This post should have been finished much earlier but Michelle stopped by to chat and I'd rather do that than finish anyway. It's going to be a good week despite the fact that tomorrow is the last day of the fiscal year and I have much to do. It is only a 4 day work week and Little Red is flying in on Saturday. Little Red is my sweet 17 year old step-daughter and she will be spending a few weeks with us this summer. It's always fun when she comes to town and I know my hubby misses spending time with her. Little Red looks just like Big Red and they are both super smart and love the same things. Allow me to leave you with this final thought: Lady Gaga is an overrated drag queen whose songs have a shelf life of about 5 minutes. Not only do I not like the music itself but her whole shtick is tired. Just had to get that off my chest and I already feel better. Yes, I realize I just used Max in this story 9 times. What can I say, I'm full of love.

K

Who knew...

I made it out to the San Antonio Film Festival last night. A friend of a friend had a film in the festival. I will talk more about that later.

The film that won the overall award was Funeral March for a Marionette. It is great work done by what seems to be a very humble and talented local artist. He spent hours creating the great short film using stop animation. You have to watch it and think about all of the work that went into making this 6 minute film.

I had a great time enjoying some local art/culture and some great conversations with old friends. I am going to try to do both of those things more often!

H

I'm a little sad today

Who didn't have the Thriller album? Who didn't see the video for Bad? Who didn't want to go to Neverland in it's better days? Who thought it was crazy that he had a chimp named Bubbles or bought the Elephant Man's skeleton? Good or bad, who didn't know who Michael Jackson was? I saw him in concert right before Thriller came out and while it was an awesome concert, you know what I remember the most? The young girl next to me sobbing hysterically and calling out Michael's name because she couldn't believe he was right in front of us, we were in the third row. I wonder if she is crying now? I think it is sad that his musical genius was tainted by all the bad stuff that followed him in his later years. I think it's sad that his children are left here without knowing the young and brilliant Michael. I think it's sad that he never had a normal childhood and wonder how different he could have been if he had. I just think the whole thing is sad.

Michelle just walked in and told me that death comes in three's. Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Todd the Hamster??. That made me laugh out loud, leave it to her to lift my sadness.

K

What the...did you just call me fat?

I mean, I am but you couldn't just say no? Really, I just need your confirmation that I look okay and not like the Goodyear Blimp because if I do look like the Hindenburg, I'm pretty sure I would see that. Don't you hate when you ask someone if the clothes you are wearing make you look fat and they come back with "They don't make you look that fat". Oh...okay, so they only make me look a little fat because a little fat isn't that bad.

Note to self: Stop asking people for their opinion because I may not like it. Only ask my loyal but lying friends who feed my precious ego not the honest because it's funny friends. Or just lose weight.

K

Interesting quotes overheard

I think sometimes I feel stupid so I make others feel dumb to make myself feel better.

Look, do you want to be happy or do you want to be together?

What void in yourself were you trying to fill with this dog?

I don't believe in milk.

I'm from La Mesa, so...

Carpe Diem, Y'all!

When I meet new people my motto is, I don't like you until I like you.

Whoa, your underarms are hairy!

Since you've known me, how many times have I been wrong?

Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho.


I would also like to point out that two of my now ex-dearest friends had a jewelry party last night that I so kindly showed up to and even bought something from. I left my earring at her house and you know what? She just sent me an e-mail picture of my earring with the word HOSTAGE attached to it. SHE IS HOLDING MY EARRING HOSTAGE! Very much like something I would do. What can I say? She pees in the shower. Now I am left with no recourse but to publish the offenders picture on my blog. She looks guilty, doesn't she?

K

Because I hate Miley Cyrus...

Whats up man! hey yo whats up!Yeah whats goin on here.Sick an tired of five-oh runnin up on the block here.You know what I'm sayin? Yo snow, they came around here lookin for you the other day.Word? word! bust it!
Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,A licky boom boom down. Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,A licky boom boom down.Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,A licky boom boom down.Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,A licky boom boom down.Police them come an now they blow down me door,One him come crawl through, through my window,So then they put me in the back the car at the station,From that point on me reach my destination,When the destination reached, it was the east detention, where themWhipped down me pants, looked up me bottom...

Snow White must have been ripe

Hi. Welcome to every grown ups worst nightmare. A picture of them and their sibling in matching outfits. Don't my brother and I look thrilled to be in matching Hawaiian shirts? I'm quite sure my parents did this not because it was cute but so they could find us easier in a crowd. I don't really remember much about this except we were at Disneyland, which I believe is quite apparent by Snow White sitting on the wall like Humpty Dumpty. The other two guys in the picture are my two cousins, Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb. Sad to say I can't remember the last time I even saw them and as far as I know they live right here in San Antonio. My brother looks like he's doing his "What you talking 'bout, Willis?" face. My face looks like I smell something rotten so I guess what my mom said is true. You keep making a face long enough and it freezes that way. But who is the mystery girl on the end? Wouldn't it be great if she grew up to be Julia Roberts or something? Then I could tell everyone I went to Disneyland with pretty woman.

K

Do you think these rabbit ears make me look sleepy?

Hee hee. I found this picture of my baby brother on his first Halloween and it made me laugh. He looks drunk, right? He couldn't even keep his eyes open to go trick or treating. It was a good Halloween since my older brother and I got to eat all of his candy. He's 30 now and do you think there is any chance at all I can get him to dress like this again for a comparison picture? I think if he ever gets married, I am going to sneak this picture in to his wedding slide show. What? It's my right as his big sister! It's not like I haven't put my own humiliating pictures up for all to see, must I suffer alone?

K

Working up an appetite

We had another funny and entertaining lunch. We discussed the different ways we would all kill each other...in graphic detail. That is some delicious lunch conversation. How are we not skinnier? We talked about Michelle wanting to change her last name so we all put our votes in. We had great suggestions like taint, calabacita, smith, bond, urdum and panosa but I believe something sensible won...Diamond. We visualized H and I squeezing in a smart car and going through a drive thru. Yes, we make fun of ourselves all the time. The highlight of my day was lunch, once again. Why can't the whole day just be lunch?

K

Random Monday Post Of The Week

I have no idea why I capitalized every word in the title, weird. Perhaps I wanted to emphasize the title like that monster truck commercial that yells out "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY". I can honestly say I don't know anyone who has ever been to a monster truck rally, maybe they are fun, I'm not all Judge Judy here. I thought I would post this old picture of some dufus that had his aqua underwear hanging out for all the world to see. Proud are we? I wonder if he is a janitor with all those keys hanging off his big old key ring there. Maybe the weight of those keys was pulling his pants down and he didn't know it. To which I would tell him you have crappy friends, sir, if they won't tell you about your exposed undies.

So it's Monday yet again and I am looking forward to July. This year is flying by and I don't like being in crisis mode every day at work. I want to enjoy other things at work besides the lunch hour. It's like elementary school when your favorite subject was recess. I will try to slow down and live in the moment. Famous last words. Since my Monday blogs are so random here we go.

A marathon of Bridezillas was on this weekend and I always wonder if they are such bitches, how do they find someone to marry them and be in the wedding? What if they are bi-polar and what they really need is medication, not to be on T.V.? I feel bad for their husbands because if they fight this bad on the happiest day of their life imagine the fights every other day. I remember the time leading up to my wedding was stressful too but that stress just brought Big Red and I closer. I was so happy to marry him that I didn't care about the small stuff.

I have also realized my damn nails are too long now and I need to cut them. I don't do the fake acrylic nail thing and yes, I do work around the house. They just grow and I don't really pay any attention to them. Now I realize it is getting harder to type and put on my necklaces so much to the dismay of my husband, the nails needs to be trimmed. Next random thought...I am thinking of going back to school...again. I just talked to my husband about it on date night and he told me I should do it if I felt that strongly about it. It has been in the back of my mind for over a year now but on Friday, it really came to the forefront and I have been seriously pondering it since. What led me to this decision? I'll tell you about it later because it's almost 8 a.m. and people are starting to wander in. Not just like random homeless people, but actual employees dragging their feet down the hall. Dragon Lady just asked me if I got some sun this weekend, maybe I did get a little tan this weekend at the park. Time to put the nose to the grindstone.

K

I'm easy like a Sunday Morning

May I just start this post by saying "It wasn't me!". For once, this wayward bicycle does not belong to me. Big Red was doing some speeding around a curve and look what happens kids. Don't let this happen to you. Thankfully, he was okay and jumped off but I am sad to say his bicycle did not make it. He is now sitting at his computer trying to find a place here that sells replacement rims because neither Target or The Academy does. May I also remind you that we shop at Costco, therefore, the gigantic package of toilet paper. We are all human, people.

We decided to take Max to the park to chase his ball (he chased it, not us) and he had a blast running like the wind. He looks like such a happy dog here, doesn't he? It was beautiful out this morning and we enjoyed relaxing out at the park on a blanket.

He played hard so he took the time for a break as well. It may have been a nice day outside but Max is wearing a fur coat so he had to replenish his water after every chase.

He is getting so good with commands like "leave it" that no matter how much he wants a cookie, he will wait until we give him permission to eat it. I'm so proud of him today, he did so well and we loved being able to take him out with us.

Max was actually calm enough for us to take him out to brunch with us. We were able to sit outside and drink our coffee and eat breakfast while he relaxed next to the table. It was quite the relaxing father's day for my husband and we really enjoyed spending the day relaxing like this. Have I mentioned it was relaxing?

K

Spoiler Alert!

Did I ever tell you I had the biggest crush on Tom Hanks? Ever since Bosom Buddies, remember that T.V. show? I really adored him when he started being the romantic lead with Meg Ryan in all those When Harry met Sleepless in Seattle movies. Whatever happened to Meg Ryan? She got the big lips and then I never saw her again. Perhaps she was plastic surgery gone wrong and she has gone in to hiding. All I know is I still heart Tom. Don't you think it's funny when people say "Alls I know...". Is that an accent thing?

Anyway, tonight was date night for Big Red and I and it was fun. We went to dinner and a movie. Olive Garden and Angels and Demons and I thoroughly enjoyed both. It had been such a long time since we have been on a Saturday night date night and we had fun. We also managed to squeeze in a little shopping for me at The Rim. Angels and Demons was very exciting and fast paced but I have to say I remember a few things differently from the book. It has been a couple of years since I read the book but now I have to go dig it out of our collection so I can refresh my memory. All I remembered for sure when the movie started was the carmelengo was the bad guy. Awww, did I ruin it for you? Sorry.

Today was Max's first lesson with our dog trainer and he did really well. He pitched a fit when the trainer took his leash but Ian was very patient and worked through it. We are taking Max on a long walk tomorrow morning to use some of the techniques he showed us. He slept pretty hard after the trainer left but then so did I. I love me my naps on Saturday. I think this lesson was harder on me than Max because he was giving me those puppy dog eyes when he was trying to get away from Ian as if to say "Mama help!". My hope for Max is that he will be happier and less anxiety ridden once he is trained. I can't say the same for me though.

K

TGIF II

I had the longest meeting of my life today and this means lunch wasn't until 2:30. Needless to say, it wasn't one of my most productive days on record. After today I really needed to kick back and relax so I texted H, Little Gay R and Michelle and said "Meet me at Friday's to celebrate TGIF". It was fun and I feel so much better now that I've had a few margaritas. I'm feeling fine and giggly. We laughed and talked about people and made plans for another Wii party next weekend. What a great start to a weekend. Tomorrow we start Max with a new trainer, I'm nervous but excited. Let's hope Max will be a happier dog with some mad skills. I'm sure I had more to say but these margarita's have mellowed me out dude and I'm like all laid back and chillin'. Why am I talking like this?

K

I'm so far behind, I'm ahead.

I was out for one day yesterday and now I have a butt load of work to do, I'm starving, I have a finance meeting at noon, and I don't even have time to blog. Not sure which of those things bug me the most. Mercy!

K

RRRRREEEEEAAAAALLLLLYYYYY...

Screw choosing your battles! I say fight them all. Today I chose to do that. I was sick and tired of a contract person that works in one of our programs. She is extremely difficult to work with because everything becomes an issue and gets complicated when she is involved.

She was at the office today and asked me about 10 questions and made things difficult. I smiled and answered her questions. She then called me 30 minutes later and asked me the same damn questions. She said that she wanted to make sure I understood what she was trying to tell me. I kept telling her, '...like I told you earlier' or '...we discussed this earlier' but she insisted on asking more. I finally told her that she was making this more complicated than it needed to be and that she really didn't need to know anymore information because it wasn't relevant to her work with us. I also told her that I understood exactly what she was saying and that she needed to stop and listen to what I was saying so SHE could understand.

K is right, this is not a good time around here and am out of patience for stupid questions.

H

Nothing much, what's going on with you?

Poor Michelle had someone switch her lunch last week, well look who we found here! Turns out little Gay R was the lunch thief in question the whole time. A picture is truly worth a thousand words, isn't it?

Look at H beating anorexia just like his hat states. Good for him!

I just choked on some peanuts and that is why you should not have peanuts for breakfast. Just a little advice from me to you, no thanks necessary. I should probably just stick to soft foods since I'm now officially old. Yesterday I got a little frustrated with my finance assistant. I had a talk with her on Friday about her excessive mistakes. I tried to offer some assistance and explained to her how she needed to focus on less speed and more detail. All to deaf ears. She made the very same mistakes I had just talked about. What more can I do? I don't want to be the bitch here. I am really trying to be patient but shouldn't I be finding less mistakes, not more? June is simply a trying month and we are all a little stressed and on a deadline. I'm simply going to smile, count to ten and per H, choose my battles. Sometimes I just need to vent.

K

Random post of the day

I just finished rehearsing my solo for Wicked, Defying Gravity. I have to rehearse so I can go to New York for my audition. Do you think they require more experience than singing in the shower? I'm more worried about having my bulk suspended with those tiny wires above stage for my big song. I firmly believe you're never too old to dream. Okay did you see that comment about Megan Fox and her funky thumbs? She is gorgeous, but they have to find a flaw in her so they pick on her thumbs. Unless her thumbs are getting major screen time and extreme close ups, leave the girl alone we should all be so genetically lucky to look like her. Besides, I loved the movie Transformers, it's more than meets the eye. Big Red and I are so behind on our movie watching. We still haven't seen Angels and Demons, Star Trek, Ghost of Girlfriends Past, Up, the list goes on and on...don't you hate when life just gets in the way of fun?

I have a Mt. Fuji of work to do but I am procrastination polly today because I'm tired. For the first time in years, I hit the snooze button this morning and got a whole extra 20 minutes. This whole month is just so busy and I'm feeling overwhelmed so this is how I handle it. Denial and avoidance. The pile of paperwork is staring at me and taunting me so I just pushed it off my desk to the floor and stuck my tongue at it...then I kicked it. I've really just made a mess and have to clean it up eventually and I'm not sure how that will help anything but it did make me feel better. I think hunger is driving me mad. I have already had a Egg McMuffin and am now munching on nuts wondering what else I can eat aside from my lunch and it's only 7:30 a.m. I'm thinking salad is not really a breakfast food. I don't want to be cranky today so I have to do my 10 minute meditation and start my day.

Today's post is brought to you by McDonald's coffee.

K

Thank you baby!

I totally forgot to tell you that I love the new Dooney my husband bought me! He is so thoughtful at picking gifts and remembered that I showed him this purse when we were out shopping 3 months ago! I've decided to keep him.

K